white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
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she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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