So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
