at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
