last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
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Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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