Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo