Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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