i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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