what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
