was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize