just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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