i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
