so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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