obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
