all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
