Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
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Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
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Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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