No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
