So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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