i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
