Quick, to the slutcave!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
