I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
