lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My life is pants optional.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
