I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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