EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
