so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
