I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
