hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just want to make out with him forever
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
