there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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