that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
