guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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