He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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