You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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