I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
