My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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