If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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