She's JV to your varsity
id be glad to
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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