Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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