Already got asked if we're dating
I will die if light touches me.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
