i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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