I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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