I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
