Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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