Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
wanna go halves on a baby?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
