i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize