I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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