so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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