My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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