like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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