I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
