Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So squirting runs in the family.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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