Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
