i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
