it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
