so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
