you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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