Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize