6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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