she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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