I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
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Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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